In the months of September, October, and half of November (2019) I have observed and taken note of my performance of gender in social groups (athletics and sorority) and under the constraints of gendered expectations on Pepperdine University’s campus. In addition to these observations, I reflected on influential past experiences and re-read journal entries from my time at college. Through this self-analysis I have come to realize that my own gender performance constitutes both sides of the culturally affirmed binary with my female masculinity partnered with my permeable ego-boundary. Furthermore I found that while my gender performance breaks some of the expectations of the Pepperdine culture, I am still accepted on campus due to cultural or status factors. Finally, I affirmed that I, as a female athlete, face an unfortunate amount of negative body talk that influences the way I perceive myself, and causes confusion in how I am supposed to look and act. Moving forward, this awareness allows me to accept my authentic self and create a space for others to safely embody their own unique identity.

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